It is that special time of the year where people fall in
love during the cold days in winter, grab a bite to eat at a local coffee shop,
and maybe sneak a kiss under some mistletoe. Question we should ask ourselves
is that really love? In our society, we tend to see more people get married at
a younger age and get divorced at a younger age, as well. Why is it that we
tend to fall for someone so fast? Were we even in love in the first place? Or
maybe how does society portray love to be like? Perhaps maybe it was all about
the lust of it all, never really love. For many people, it is hard to find that
special someone that you fall in love with; and for many young folks still in
college, that is probably the last thing that they are thinking of. When that
time comes to find that special someone, how do you know if that love is
“real”? In the article “Is
it love or lust? ”, the writer talks about looking at the ideas of love and
lust in perspectives to help readers differentiate the two ideas.
“ There are
different emotional and physiological components to both love and lust.
Romantic attraction and feelings of love for someone elevates our dopamine and
serotonin levels, which causes feelings of elation and loss of appetite. When
we get to the point of feeling attachment and a more long-term phase of love,
our bodies generate more oxytocin (known as the "hormone of love").
Lust, sex drive and an appetite for sex can visit during this process and is
generated by increased testosterone levels in both men and women. Heightened
levels of testosterone inspire a feeling of focused attention and sexual
arousal.”
This article
also talks about the idea of infidelity and why men and women do it. To put it
in a biological perspective, it seems to be similar reason to why animals have
multiple mating partners, which is basically the idea of survival of the
fittest. When a man, or woman, have more than one partner, he or she has a
chance to have more genetic diversity with their DNA. But of course, I am sure
for many people who have cheated are most likely not thinking that. There are
probably other reasons for people cheating like loneliness, domestic violence,
etc.
When we are
with our significant other, have you ever thought about what brought you two
together in the first place? Was it how attractive one was to the other? Maybe
the idea about how if you are with your significant other for a long time that
the looks fades away and the personality seems to stand out more. When it comes
to lust, we can think about short-term relationships or about marriages that do
not work out in the end. In the state of California, the divorce rate is about 75%.
Wow the idea of marriage appears to be simply laughable. The idea that people believe their going to spend the rest of their lives together, when in reality 75% of them are breaking up. Maybe it’s safer to just stay boyfriend girlfriend. When I first saw this divorce rate I immediately Googled it, hopefully finding this percentage to be wrong for the sake of humanity! However, most sites I viewed said 75%, one said 60% but really what’s the difference. Does anyone know if this rate has been increasing overtime? Should we blame technology? Or perhaps technology just allows us to find who we really are, never satisfied?
ReplyDeleteI think that now a days people take the idea of getting married so lightly and also do it for wrong reasons. I know a lot of people that get married with someone that they have only dated for a couple of months or a year or two and the reality is that you can't really say you know someone that well in such a small period of time to get married with them and spend the rest of your life with them. According to Dr. Lee marriages have a better chance of lasting if the couple has known each other for more then a year. A lot of people also get married at such a young age and I think many of us don't really know what we want or having fully matured when we are young because we are still trying to figure out our lives and sometimes still trying to figure out who we are. In the same article by Dr. Lee he states that age also plays a big role on how long a marriage last and its success rate. I think in order for those divorce rates to go down people need to stop taking marriage so lightly and remember the value of it.
ReplyDeletehttp://strongermarriage.org/htm/married/factors-that-make-a-difference-in-marital-success
I think the your picture says it all for me. The media has clearly brainwashed people with this idea of what love is and what it looks like. People spend one too many romantic dates with someone and they believe they are in love. I am not saying that I am against the idea of love but I agree with Rebecca that people take the idea of marriage to likely and jump into marriage unprepared.
DeleteIt is sad to see how people nowadays treating marriage like a game -- if you last long enough then it’s good for you, but if it does not work out then "oh well, not your luckiest day." Based on TwoOfUs.org, many young men or women decided to marry because they were too excited about their relationship and not thinking about how difficult it is to start a family. Couple who are not mature enough in term of both the way they think and material, will have higher chance to have unsuccessful marriage. People should change their perspective and mindset on marriage as “once you start it, there is no coming back.” So that, people who feel that they are not ready to let go their freedom should really think twice about getting married and start a family, cause divorce will not only harm the couple, but it can be a traumatic event for their children.
ReplyDelete